“What women need to understand is that the fear of being seen as “not nice” or bitchy comes from social messages about how they should behave.  It’s the way men have gotten women to acquiesce for centuries.  Just the thought of being considered less than nice makes a woman feel less than feminine.  Each time you hesitate or avoid asking for what you want you’ve bowed to these messages.  The vast majority of women could be more assertive and still be far from bitchy in reality.  When you’re called that, it’s usually because you didn’t do what someone else wants –- in which case, kudos to you!”