Today in bleeeeauuuurrrrgghhhh:

And then there’s Rep. Louie Gohmert, the staggering dipshit best known for getting absolutely pwned by Anderson Cooper over his insane “terror babies” conspiracy theory. The first paragraph of this story on his impossibly dumb remarks today reads like the lede of an Onion story.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) said Friday that the shootings that took place in an Aurora, Colo. movie theater hours earlier were a result of “ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs” and questioned why nobody else in the theater had a gun to take down the shooter.

Yes, Gohmert actually said this: “It does make me wonder, with all those people in the theater, was there nobody that was carrying a gun that could have stopped this guy more quickly?” In other words, a sitting member of Congress found fault in the victims of the attack and apparently fantasizes about a 21st century America that more resembles the days of the Wild West than it does a modern, evolved society.

What?!  Come on!  You know that six-year-old should really have been armed!  Dude!  Why the fuck—?  Of course they didn’t have guns!  THEY WERE GOING TO THE GOD DAMN MOVIES!  The hell you need a gun for at the movies?  I don’t know about y’all but I don’t want to live in a country where I have to be packing heat everywhere I go in case some dipshit Congressman wants to blame me for not reacting quickly enough when some deranged asshat goes all John Wayne up in this bitch.  FUCK.