“[T]he Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisiana is using a controversial method to disprove Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. Using the fundamentalist school curriculum “A.C.E”, the school is teaching children in their biology classroom that the alleged existence of the Loch Ness monster is proof that Darwin’s theory of evolution is false, making their case for the validity of creationism. The textbook used, Biology 1099, notes that the Loch Ness monster could very well still be alive today.

The text book reads:

“Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

In 2012, The Onion is redundant.