Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association condemns humans as “enormously insensitive” and claims they are “hurting God’s feelings” by not using the “abundant” and “inexpensive” gifts of fossil fuels.  (This is the same guy who said believing in climate change was a direct insult to God.)

Wonder how he feels about us outlawing the “gift” of marijuana?

And, you know, I suppose solar and wind energy make God sad, because… the sun and the wind were made by Satan?

Hey ladies, did you know our bodies do this amazing thing when a Real Rape (tm) happens?  When a Real Rape (tm) occurs, which, as you know, is always a strange man leaping from an alley to attack an innocent (white) girl, female bodies simply employ a mysterious gate that crashes down before our cervixes to stop the strange sperm from impregnating us!  Isn’t that cool?

According to Representative Todd Akin, abortion is always unnecessary, even in cases of “legitimate rape.” Apparently, he understands “from doctors” that pregnancy resulting from rape rarely happens.  Why?  Because in the case of Real Rape (tm), “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”  I’d like to know who the hell these doctors are who are just making that shit right the hell up.

He goes on to say that even if that strange defense mechanism doesn’t work, there should be “some punishment,” but it should be against the rapist instead of “attacking the child.”  He doesn’t even mention the woman housing that child.  

I could just barf.

So, let’s recap.

Michigan is debating the (currently) most restrictive abortion law in the country.

Rep. Lisa Brown delivered an impassioned speech in opposition to the bill.  Her closing statement included the clinically accurate medical term for a woman’s birth canal:  ”“And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’”

Frankly, this is how women in the United States have been feeling lately.  Stay out of our ladyparts, please.  However, evidently, her use of the term “vagina” was, according to State Rep. Mike Callton, “offensive.”  In fact, ‘It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.’

That’s right.  Using the word “vagina” in front of women is unforgivably offensive.  Using that word when you are debating reproductive rights— which directly involve that part of the body— is apparently, so ludicrously rude, Mike Callton wouldn’t say it in “mixed company.”  Precious special ladyears need to hear “hoo-ha” or “no-no zone” or “nether regions” or “filthy shame hole.”  I just can’t with this.  I can think of a lot of other euphemisms for vagina that actually ARE offensive, and she didn’t use any of those.

So we’re living in a country where women aren’t allowed to speak on women’s issues, where complaints about the state of things are brushed off as a “bitch session,” where having breasts gets you thrown off an airplane, where Gretchen Carlson walks off set in the midst of a live taping because her compatriot can’t contain his misogyny, where an Army Ranger insists women are inherently selfish and will therefore ruin everything the Rangers are about, and where the word “vagina” is unacceptable vocabulary.  Granted, we’re not in a place where women are beaten to death for not wearing a veil or for leaving their houses, or in India, where girl babies are killed and women are hardly even allowed to pee, but… gah, everything is so fucked.

We all know that guy.  Hell, I ran into that guy at a bar two weeks ago.  The guy who mistakes your utter and complete disinterest, your bored-sounding replies to his obvious attempts to be suave, as genuine interest.  Who thinks that if he just talks long enough, he’ll talk his way right into your pants.  The extra-special ones are the ones to whom you directly say you are not interested, please leave me alone, I have a boyfriend, whatever, and they simply Do. Not. Care.  They are there to get pussy, and since you had the nerve to be attractive anywhere outside your own home, they’ve chosen you, and dammit if they’re leaving empty-handed.

We’ve all heard the story by now of the model who was stuck sitting next to a douchey soap opera actor who was supposedly married and clean/sober, but conveniently forgot these conditions when he found himself with an attractive seatmate.  He proceeded to spend the entire flight lamely hitting on her, and she live-Tweeted the entire affair.  But to everyone’s surprise, the whole thing blew up.  Now there are huge arguments happening on the Internet, with the expected reaction of “she’s making it up,” but as Hugo Schwyzer (I know) points out,

“The real debate, however, is about more than what he said versus what she said. It’s about whether if the story is true, Stetten did the right thing by live-tweeting the blow-by-blow details of Presley’s come-on. As Sarah Jones writes at PoliticsUSA, the assumption of Presley’s defenders isn’t just that Stetten is making the story up. It’s that even if her account is accurate, a woman in her position owes a man like Brian “either a) a romp in the mile high club or b) secrecy.” The rage at Stetten isn’t just coming from those who think she’s lying – it’s coming from those who suspect she’s being all too truthful. Nice ladies protect drunken married men from the consequences of their own actions. Good women keep their mouths shut.”

And, he continues, “Why should a stranger on a plane have greater respect for his reputation and his marriage vows than he himself is willing to display? Can we please stop assuming that men have a right to outsource both their self-control and their discretion to every random woman who has the outrageous audacity to be attractive in public?”

He ends with an excellent quote:  ”That so many don’t see Presley’s behavior as more than deserving of Stetten’s response says a great deal about what we expect women to endure.”

Yep.  He said it.  Phil Bryant— the governor of an ENTIRE STATE, people— spoke to a radio talk show host about the bill he recently signed, which could shut down Mississippi’s only abortion clinic and make the service essentially unavailable in the state.  During the interview, he said that anyone who opposes this bill just wants to kill children.  I quote:

“Even if you believe in abortion, the hypocrisy of the left that now tried to kill this bill, that says that I should have never signed it, the true hypocrisy is that their one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter, they don’t care if the mother’s life is in jeopardy, that if something goes wrong that a doctor can’t admit them to a local hospital, that he’s not even board certified.”

Yep, you’re right, Phil.  All abortions, all the time.  We pro-choice people dream of a world where every last pregnancy is terminated.  We hate babies, and we want to see them eliminated permanently, and in fact, if we could have their mothers die too, that would be even better.  Two for one, amirite?!  I can tell you, I have never aspired to anything more than I have aspired to having multiple abortions and convincing everyone else that they should have them, too.

You fucking idiot.

“The kind of particularly male pain that Arndt and her allies describe isn’t rooted in women’s flirtatiousness, sexy clothing, or presumed preference for “alpha” males. Whether they’re genuinely hurting or just petulantly sulking, the confusion and hurt with which men cope is based largely on their own sense of entitlement. The calculus of entitlement works like this: if women don’t want to turn men on, they need to cover up. If they don’t cover up, they’ll turn men on. If they turn men on, women are obligated to do something to assuage that lust. Having turned them on, if women don’t give men what they want, then women are cruel teases who have no right to complain if men lash out in justified rage at being denied what they’ve been taught is rightfully theirs.”

Basically, this article outlines the Men’s Rights Advocates’ position that a woman wearing any kind of revealing clothing who does not want to sleep with any man who sees her and likes what he sees is committing a particularly cruel kind of sexual harassment— by discriminating in her sexual partners, she is making the men she doesn’t choose feel humiliated, afraid, and insecure.  So basically, ladies, if you’re going to put it out there, you better be ready to have sex with absolutely any man who decides he’d like to have sex with YOU, or else you are a cruel, manipulating tease who is only frustrating a man who just wants access to your vagina (which, since you turned him on, he feels he is entitled to).

Where do these people come from?

Honestly, he’s not even a real person anymore.  This is just one slightly less-fantastic step away from “You got sick because God is punishing you for your sins.”  That kind of thinking was popular during the Middle Ages, you know?

Also, in that vein, he’d still have to say that about anyone who got cancer— they used a cell phone, they drank soda with artificial sweeteners, they went out in the sun, they lived in a city with air pollution, they worked in a shipyard with asbestos, whatever.  Poor life choices?  AGH.  That’s like that guy from the American Family Association saying (yesterday?) that HIV didn’t cause AIDS, gay sex caused AIDS.  Idiots.