Posts tagged personal
Posts tagged personal
hey yo tumblr I am getting married, w00t
Remember this picture?
That was one year ago yesterday.
I wish I were the kind of person who looked pretty in pictures
but I get so awkward in front of the camera, I either make that :| face, or I make an actual crossed-eyes tongue-out face that looks horrible. Or sometimes I have a manic picture-smile that actually looks like I am more scared than anything
I think there’ve been like ten photos of me in my life that I’ve liked although I find a good camera helps.
“An office party broke out like some kind of flash mob. And then, there. you. were. Sparkling conversation and sparklier eyes, like a sparkly, shiny glittery shiny sparkly thing. Like a charismatic, guileless, outspoken fire goddess. We shared a cookie, and with it, my heart crumbled. Someone misplace their muse?”
THIS WAS A CRAIGSLIST MISSED CONNECTION SOMEONE WROTE ABOUT ME
I GOT A MISSED CONNECTION
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE NOW.
Derp (Taken with Instagram)
It’s not many of us who were organized enough to tape ourselves at age 12 talking to the future us, but thank goodness Jeremiah McDonald was. Now that it’s 20 years later, he’s having a little conversation with his past self.
I kind of wish I had done this— I imagine I would have been asking questions like “Do you have a boyfriend? How was high school? Do you have a lot of friends? Are you still fat?”
And I would say “Listen. Your mother— our mother— is right. Stay away from the weird mall kids. You can’t save anyone so don’t date guys with issues. No, I— we— are not fat. Trust me, you will grow out of this weird awkward stage very suddenly when you are like, 14, and dudes will just be all over you forever. It’s not as rad as it sounds. Don’t send nudie pix to anyone even though it makes you feel sexy, don’t lie or lead people on in order not to hurt their feelings because it will actually be way worse than just rejecting them outright, and for God’s sake please read some bell hooks before you turn 20.”
This weight-loss thing is so frustrating. Weight Watchers didn’t work at all for me, which was really annoying because it worked like crazy for my mom— she lost thirty pounds or something in a few months. I did it for two months and the number on the scale did not move AT ALL. Literally, I did not even lose so much as half a pound. And all it was doing was making me miserable. So I quit. Because why bother.
I was so badass. God that was like four years ago now.
Good Things Are Happening
1) Awesome music coming to Pittsburgh this summer (Modest Mouse, Sleigh Bells w/ Class Actress, Death Cab for Cutie w/ Andrew Bird)
2) Shoe sale at Charlotte Russe (fuck yeah)
3) Got a pimp room at the beach house (ocean view, deck, private bathroom)
4) Gonna be chicken ready to nom when I get home (crock pot chicken breasts stuffed with Parmesan, chevre, spinach, and roasted red peppers)
One Bad Thing
1) I still have to tell my boss I am leaving my job :(
These people on Craigslist. Oh my god. Do they actually want people to be interested in the apartments they are trying to rent?! SHEESH. Things that annoy me about these ads:
1. Ads with no photos and no description, just “Single family home.” ”Condo.” Oh, well okay. That tells me absolutely nothing.
2. Ads with photos and description, but no location— just “Pittsburgh.” Well, hoss, that encompasses a VERY LARGE AREA! This is my least favorite, actually. THAT IS BASIC INFORMATION. IF YOUR APARTMENT IS LOCATED IN FAR FAR AWAY/THE PROJECTS, I AM NOT INTERESTED. Do not waste both of our time by not saying where the place IS.
3. 4RentPittsburgh, which words its headlines very nicely, then you go to their page and they’re like “You want to see our rentals? HA HA! YOU PAY FEE NOW!” No.
4. People who just copy and paste the information they gave to their insurance company. Wood frame, shingle roof, central heat, built 1930. No photos, no location.
5. One photo, and it’s of a window.
6. This is more of a funny thing, but— misplaced adjectives. ”Capacious.” ”Gracious.” ”Blatantly large.” ”Perspicacious.” ”Commodious.” ”Staggering.” Dude, come on.
7. Lakefront property? Where the F is there a lake in Pittsburgh?
8. Ads that are obviously misplaced— I searched “Pittsburgh,” why is this ad for an apartment in Ashland, Ohio? Or why would you post and say “cats and dogs OK” but your actual ad says “no pets?” Don’t you think I’d be looking for an apartment that allowed pets for a reason?
9. Ads for 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom, remodeled homes that are OMG SO AMAZING and yet, inexplicably, $525 a month. Yeah, what’s the catch? (It’s in the ghetto/it’s haunted/there’s a vermin issue/their mother died in the upstairs bedroom/etc.)
friends at the 60’s murder mystery party!
where are they?