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Posts tagged rape culture

15,023 notes

consider the bank.

gyzym:

You know, a few months ago this dude friend of mine showed up to hang out with me all dejected. Over a couple of drinks he explained his long face — earlier that night, he’d been walking down the street behind this really cute girl, and when she looked back at him over her shoulder, he thought it was in interest and smiled at her. Now, this guy is tall and skinny, can most commonly be found in glasses and t-shirts scrawled across with math jokes, is kind to animals, considers himself a feminist. What he doesn’t consider himself is threatening, so he was surprised, confused, and even hurt by what happened next: the girl in front of him responding to his called greeting of, “Nice skirt,” by taking off down the darkened street in a dead run. 

"Yeah," I said, "she probably thought you were going to rape her." 

"But that’s not fair,” he said. “I’m a good person; I’d never rape anyone! How could she think that? She doesn’t even know me.” 

Out here in the wilds of the internet, I often find myself making arguments about shit like feminism and rape culture unilaterally. For one thing, there’s so much (like, so much) out there arguing unilaterally against this shit that I feel it’s necessary; for another thing, ‘round these parts there’s a lot of people jumping to hostility when it’s painfully clear they don’t have a handle on all the facts. But I’m more lenient with the people in my real life, especially dudes like the one mentioned above. I’m willing to extend to them a patience that I wouldn’t with strangers on the internet, because they matter to me, and it matters to me that they understand. So when my friend sat there that night, whining over his beer and responding to my attempted explanations with, “But I’d love it if a girl smiled at me on the street, or even catcalled at me! Fuck, even if a dude did it, I’d be flattered,” I decided to spend some time thinking about how to clear things up for him. It took awhile, but I finally came up with a metaphor to get the job done:

Consider the bank. 

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(via supremeruleroftheinternet)

Filed under rape culture rape feminism harassment catcalling consider the bank

38,106 notes

5 Things More Likely To Happen To You Than Being Falsely Accused Of Rape

death-list-five:

pandoradeloeste:

casey-lawrence:

brutereason:

A man is 631 times more likely to become an NFL player than to be falsely accused of rape.

"We end on a serious note. Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”

that last paragraph

Holy shit. 

(via professor-sweetpea)

Filed under rape culture

71,951 notes

Or when you openly express doubt of victims, when you declare the problems of a marginalized group to not be real problems, when you dismiss or belittle them, when you hand-wave and pretend like victims of discrimination or assault or harassment are exaggerating, when you behave as though you believe people’s problems are some kind of a mass hallucination because you’ve never experienced them personally… at least one woman (or any person, possibly) you know and love has silently decided she cannot trust you. 

Or when you openly express doubt of victims, when you declare the problems of a marginalized group to not be real problems, when you dismiss or belittle them, when you hand-wave and pretend like victims of discrimination or assault or harassment are exaggerating, when you behave as though you believe people’s problems are some kind of a mass hallucination because you’ve never experienced them personally… at least one woman (or any person, possibly) you know and love has silently decided she cannot trust you. 

Filed under feminism rape culture victim blaming Twitter Steph Guthrie truth preach

72,952 notes

Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested. His attorney explained, “There was a period when he was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce. He insists that these acts did not stretch back further than three or four months. His daughter says longer. But everyone should be very careful in what they say.” Because, really, even despite her seeking help, her testimony, her bravery in setting up a webcam to film her father raping her, you really can’t believe what the girl says, can you?

Everyone “knows” this. Even children.

Three years ago, in fly-on-the-wall fashion of parent drivers everywhere, I listened while a 14-year-old girl in the back seat of my car described how angry she was that her parents had stopped allowing her to walk home alone just because a girl in her neighborhood “claimed she was raped.” When I asked her if there was any reason to think the girl’s story was not true, she said, “Girls lie about rape all the time.” She didn’t know the person, she just assumed she was lying…

No one says, “You can’t trust women,” but distrust them we do. College students surveyed revealed that they think up to 50% of their female peers lie when they accuse someone of rape, despite wide-scale evidence and multi-country studies that show the incident of false rape reports to be in the 2%-8% range, pretty much the same as false claims for other crimes. As late as 2003, people jokingly (wink, wink) referred to Philadelphia’s sex crimes unit as “the lying bitch unit.” If an 11-year-old girl told an adult that her father took out a Craigslist ad to find someone to beat and rape her while he watched, as recently actually occurred, what do you think the response would be? Would she need to provide a videotape after the fact?

It goes way beyond sexual assault as well. That’s just the most likely and obvious demonstration of “women are born to lie” myths. Women’s credibility is questioned in the workplace, in courts, by law enforcement, in doctors’ offices, and in our political system. People don’t trust women to be bosses, or pilots, or employees. Pakistan’s controversial Hudood Ordinance still requires a female rape victim to procure four male witnesses to her rape or risk prosecution for adultery. In August, a survey of managers in the United States revealed that they overwhelmingly distrust women who request flextime. It’s notable, of course, that women are trusted to be mothers—the largest pool of undervalued, unpaid, economically crucial labor.

Soraya Chemaly, How We Teach Our Kids That Women Are Liars  (via seebster)

(Source: sorayachemaly, via vile-and-cheap)

Filed under rape rape culture feminism women

7,762 notes

I accompanied someone to the police station to report a sexual assault, and this is what happened

sexologist:

A regular client turned good friend was sexually assaulted and asked me if I would go with her to the police station to make the report. Here is what happened.

Things to note:

1. There may be some triggers around sexual assault, victim blaming, and incompetent police officers.

2. My…

Wow.  And people wonder why sexual assaults are underreported.

(via malcolmjamalwarlock)

Filed under feminism rape culture sexual assault justice

32 notes

I still can’t really wrap my head around the fact that men aren’t expected to be able to control themselves around a skirt and yet it’s women who shouldn’t be trusted with nuclear codes because of periods.
Commenter MisfitToy, on this Jezebel article

Filed under rape rape culture feminism women men

317,207 notes

essisdaddy:

itsdarlingdoll:

LOL Okay I’m sorry but if you are in practically your bra and panties you may not be asking for it but you are inferring it. Sluts and their excuses.

From the page: I honestly don’t give a fuck what you think about me
Well, thank goodness for that. Now I don’t have to worry that you might be offended to know you are one incredibly cretinous, dumbfuck asswipe who deserves a fucking good hiding for your moronic, senseless (I would say thoughtless but that is obviously a fucking given for you) imbecilic stupidity. 

seriously.  sorry you are an idiot.

essisdaddy:

itsdarlingdoll:

LOL Okay I’m sorry but if you are in practically your bra and panties you may not be asking for it but you are inferring it. Sluts and their excuses.

From the page: I honestly don’t give a fuck what you think about me


Well, thank goodness for that. Now I don’t have to worry that you might be offended to know you are one incredibly cretinous, dumbfuck asswipe who deserves a fucking good hiding for your moronic, senseless (I would say thoughtless but that is obviously a fucking given for you) imbecilic stupidity. 

seriously.  sorry you are an idiot.

(via sinkadelic-deactivated20140324)

Filed under rape culture slut shaming

3,615 notes

A Letter To The Guy Who Harassed Me Outside The Bar

paulftompkins:

“Ask your female friends, if you have any, if they’ve ever walked home late at night with a key pushed through their knuckles, just in case, if they’ve ever crossed the street to avoid a stranger, just in case, if they’ve ever taken the long way home because of the weird guy on the corner, just in case. Ask them if they’ve ever made up a boyfriend to get a guy to leave them alone, if they’ve ever gotten off a train car and moved to the next because you just never know, if they’ve ever shelled out for a cab because men like you were at the bus stop.  Do you really want to be that guy?”

(via failuretime)

Filed under sexual harassment feminism street harassment patriarchy rape culture